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Chadwick Fontenot

Stranger

The windows of perception are deceiving.
Nothing is ever what it seems, and
nothing
seems to me like eternity.
As we converse and unbearable hunger to seek and discover
grows with every caging of my emotions.
Regardless, I press onward.
Harnessing the illusions that for years have served as a crutch in my existence.
I'm ill,
my spirit craves new horizons,
a new sense of false hope in which I can comfortably
place these thoughts I've for so long claimed as my own.
Somehow, I manage to conjure the energy to make one final attempt
in salvaging the wreckage of my twisted dreams.
I fool myself!
I dream dreams that no one see;
I feed my subconscious nurturing images that foretell the end for all.
It's not my will, but it is the message
as I perceive it.
I am merely the lowly subject sent to spread the word
that I myself cannot pronounce.
Find your faith and hold it dear,
ignore my presence and have no fear.
I'm not really here, for I was never conceived.
You can't begin to comprehend me, so
don't waste your time.
Destroy me!
I have failed my maker, and abused my privileges.
I've ill fatedly,
unwillingly love others.
I've become a part of a world that was not created for me.
I wasn't designed to walk amongst your kind.
Never programmed to understand.
Opposed to no avail by my psyche in my decision to transform into a man.
Yet I long for what it is I can't apprehend.
This universe is beyond compare.
NO mortal soul could imagine the sources of power that compile it's interior.
I've witnessed what you people label life,
I was not amused.
Still I'm compelled by your behavior.
Your willingness to succeed, expand what you call freedom,
and express this indescribable experience spelled L O V E.
I do not wish to perish, but I sense that my struggle is without cause.
I admire your endurance
and praise your worth, but
you invite extinction.
Thus, I must leave you now as I prepare for the futile flight that awaits me.
Please forgive me, and the error of my ways.
I did the best I knew how, but
it appears your world is simply too complicated, and
vigorous for an alien like me.