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Vardry Spencer

Hell and Victory

I have seen the fires--touched them, been consumed
in the flames of forsaken love. I have died many times.

My scars run deep like darkened valleys underground, where
cruel things run about, things that laugh and harm.

I have trodden the broken glass--the veins
of my soul laid bare,
nerves aflame with the pain of thoughtless others,
smirks and slaps from a thousand confused nights.

I never knew the welcomed breast, the gentle touch, the
smile that washes clean a child's great fear of small things.

I will not allow the ugliness to harm me further. I take on
all, all horrors of the past. Though I tremble in fear, deep
inside I know that no fear, however ancient and strong can
stay my feet from what paths I choose to walk.

I have faced you death and madness. And fear, formidable
though you are, you will not seize from me the love that
is mine by right of birth.

So, what now? You have done your best. You have thrown
me to the very bottom of the pit. Thank you for awakening
my invincibility.
Thank you for showing me the love that brought
me through. Imperfect though it is,
what else but his own love innate could transform
the trembling child's heart into that of the man--undefeated?

Now I see it: Loving is easy when the battle has been fought
to the end. There may be yet a few wounds that still bleed;
but the flower of gold is mine.
I have died many deaths to wallow in its beauty.